"I have found, almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said 'journeys end in loves meeting'. Oh what an extrodoary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that but I'm willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I'm constantly amazed by sheer power to alter and define our lives. Shakespeare also said 'love is blind'. Now that is something I know to be true.
For some, quite inexplicably, love fades. For others, love is simply lost. But then of course, love can also be found. Even if just for the night. And then there is another kind of love, the cruelest kind, the one that almost kills its victims, it's called 'unrequited love'. Of that, I am an expert. Most love stories are about those who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories? Those of us who fall in love, alone. We are the victims of the 'one-sided' affair, we are the cursed of the loved ones, we are the unloved one, the walking wounded, the handicap without the advantage of a parking space. Yes, you are looking at the one such individual who has willingly loved... oh god, just the sight of him, heart pounding, throat thickening, appositely can't swallow, all the usual symptoms." -- The Holiday
I thought yesterday was going to be the best day of the week. It was Friday, winter break was just right around the corner and I was giving out my Christmas presents to all my friends and I was gonna go out to dinner with Brady and exchange our presents, just a night to ourselves for once. We've been planning it for a couple weeks and I was stoked! But everything went sour when I started texting Justin early in the morning. We got into a fight about a ride to skool (*not gonna go into the details of that..), but it was quite unpleasant. But I tried to not let that bring my day down so I went along with everything. Haha, I felt like an idiot going to school cuz I had to bring my presents to my friends :) The only thing was, how do I get 'em to skool? I had to go searching through my house until I found this HUGE ass bag that could hold all of them! This bag was ridiculously huge!! (*lol) Haha, anyways! I ran into my truck cuz I was running late now :( But I made it to skool on time (*lol).
I didn't like walking into skool cuz i felt like such a retard with such a huge bag.. but it's over and I didn't look at anyone so I couldn't tell if they were looking at me or not :P I went to my locker and stuffed everything in my locker, except for the two presents I was giving my friends in first block. Then Brady walked up to my locker :) We walked toward his spanish class and then the bell rang and he pulled me over and told me that the dinner we planned 2 weeks ago, wasn't happening!! I was so devastated I just said "good-bye" and walked to my class. Wow. I wasn't sure what to feel.. I was angry, sad, disappointed all at the same time!! Maybe a little more pissed than anything. But then first block started and Briana and Natasha lightened my mood :) The whole day was kinda "blah" but in my classes was fun :P Like spanish! OMG!! xD We had to act out a Bull Fight (*like they do in Spain) and these 2 freshman, Jake and Tyler, were so funny! They were both the "torros" (*bulls) and the funniest ones ever! They tried to make bull sounds but they sure didn't sound like bull sounds! haha it was so fun :) (**I was a Matador!)
But after second block, my mood went back down cuz normally, I meet up with Justin and walk with him but earlier, he told me that he wouldn't see me after second block (*but I was already mad so I didn't ask why). When I walked out of class with Tyler, I saw him walking. I didn't wait for him cuz it was like he lied to me. But it was whatever... He obviously didn't wanna walk with me. Once I got to creative writing, the day turned around again cuz Gina and Steven are my buddies in that class :) Plus that class is really easy! We all got in a circle to share our writing that we had been working on. Haha, Steven is so funny! :P Once in math class, he spazzed out when he coughed! It was hilarious! xD His arms and legs just randomly threw themselves out and he coughed a couple times!!!! I look at him once and that image comes back into my mind and I start laughing! xD Haha the best (*lol). Anyways, it was time for lunch and I found one of my friends from spanish class, Odiete, standing at the front of the lunch room alone. So she sat with me and my other friends :) Haha, and we also had a mini food fight with the table behind us :P It was fun!! Even though, Nick, pelted a pretzel at the back of my head!
Then it was time for last block.. and I normally walk with Justin to history after creative writing. I had to go to my locker to get my best friend, Brunella,'s present. :) And as I was walking toward the staircase, I saw Justin walking my way.. So we walked together and talked and worked the stuff out :P So that was fine. And before I went into history, I gave him is candy cane (*cuz I didn't have his present yet..) and he gave me a hug. Then it was history time!! xD History is like my fave class cuz Brunella, Cinithia, Andres (*and even Emily sumtimes) all have a blast in that class! xD But today it was just Brunella and I :( But we still had loads of fun! <3>
I walked out of class and met up with Brady, we walked to my locker and then out to the busses. But we couldn't talk too long or he'd miss his bus :P And I wasn't aloud to drive him home :/ But it was fine cuz I got stuck behind all the busses! Ugh!! The skool parking lot can be such a mess sumtimes! lol But Brady said he'd call me around 5:30ish to talk about what was gonna happen that night. I waited until then and there wasn't a call.. So I had a craving to go get my nails done (*tips). I asked my mom if I could go get 'em done and she's like "don't they take a while?? and aren't you doing sumthing with Brady?" and I told her that he hasn't called and I didn't wanna just sit around and wait.. :/ Then like, 20 minutes later, I went down stairs to see if I could get my mom to take me now and she was on the fone, and guess who with? Brady's stepmom. Apparently, Brady got in trouble and our dinner tonight was cancelled. I was so pissed off and sad!!! D: It sucked... And I got more pissed off cuz how was I suppose to find out? Cuz my mom called her about our Christmas plans! And since his parents took away his fone privileges, how the fuck was I suppose to know if he wasn't aloud to call me?!! I was so pissed off. But then my mom let me go get my nails done.. which helped me take my mind off of the situation..
After that we came home and I watched The Holiday again, and just laid down on my bed. I must have been really tired cuz I fell asleep watching the movie (*which I normally wouldn't do :P). But I woke up at 10:30ish cuz my fone was vibrating. It was Brady calling.. which wasn't gonna be good cuz I was already pissed off at him (*cuz he told me nothing, nothing, was gonna get in the way of our dinner; not even his grades cuz we planned it so much in advance and his parents agreed to it too!! Plus, I was agitated cuz he woke me up.. And so we had a long talk about what happened and how he was sorry this happened but I told him that I didn't trust him anymore and that I was mad at him (*for the first time). And then he had to go at 11 to help with sumthing and I said that I'd talk to him some other time and he asked "can I call you when I get home?" And I said "no. I'm in bed and I'm pissed off and don't really wanna talk." So that's where our convo. stopped. And I haven't talked to him since. He hasn't tried to call me at all today; I don't know when the next time we are going to talk (*cuz apparently, I'm going over there tomorrow for dinner since our ALONE dinner got ruined I getta come over there and have a family dinner...) Yesterday was such a horrible day. :( It sucked..
I've been typing this up in my room and my desk is right by a window that looks at my street and every time I saw a dark SUV drive by, I thought it was him.. And this one time, I saw this tall-ish guy, dressed all in black walking toward my house, I thought it was him. For some reason I keep thinking he will call me or show up at my door step like in those romance movies.. I don't wanna be in a fight with him anymore; I wanna call him but his house is so.. I don't really know what it is, but I can't really call his house fone :/ And he got his cell taken away a while ago so.. I have to wait for him to call me. And I kept checking Facebook and Skype to see if he was on but he never was.. (*or at least not when I was on). My mom kept asking if I had talked to him today and I kept saying no. She thinks, since he knows I'm mad at him, that he doesn't wanna call me. Which sucks cuz its like, how am I suppose to get in touch with him then? I feel like a retard cuz I keep thinking he'll call me or show up at my house.. When ever I see some one walking toward my house.. I immediately think it's him.. which sucks cuz it ever is him. I miss him and I don't know what to do. Hopefully.. he'll call me or something soon.
Well that's all I got for now :) 'til next time!!
